


Finding Palutena

by tazwrites



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, 光神話 | Kid Icarus (Video Games)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22504993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tazwrites/pseuds/tazwrites
Summary: With Palutena missing, Pit turns to the one hero he knows he can ask for help.Too bad he's basically mute, and his whole town loves him too much to give him away.
Kudos: 12





	Finding Palutena

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. I love how I'm involved in like, 3 fandoms currently, and instead of writing for them, decided to dip my hands into territory I DO NOT belong in.
> 
> Have fun with this crack fic, please.

When Pit arrives in Hyrule, he is arrested immediately. 

"Look," he tries to explain as his hands are bound behind him, "I mean no harm." 

"ndnwkwj" the man with the grizzled beard behind him says in Hyrule, and another boy, this one younger than Pit, comes forward with a gag. He stands there nervously before a woman, war braids and arm bands galore, takes it from him and advances toward Pit. 

Shit, he thinks, think fast. 

"I'm here for Link! Your hero? He and I are… Work buddies!" 

That was entirely unconvincing. 

The woman gags him anyway, then the group of warriors start discussing in rapid Hyrulian. Pit hears Link's name thrown around quite a bit, and he is hopeful before one of them, an older man with an eyepatch, turns around. 

"You want our hero. We do not allow any threats to be made to him in his homeland. We will not take this lightly, as his protectors." 

Pit's eyes widen. Oh crap. They think he's a bad guy. 

Two women, both with tunics, long hair, and swords hanging off their belts, grab his arms. The woman with war braids and arm brands crosses her arms in front of him, watching them hoist him up on his feet. 

"Dump him in the skies. He may have wings, but the wind here defeats even the fiercest of birds." 

Pit shakes his head. They're going to kill him. He just wanted to talk to Link. 

Ah well. Desperate times call for desperate measures. 

He breaks out of the bind they put his hands in and shoots up in the sky, propelling his feet and beating his wings. The two girls behind him fall to the ground and cover their faces to protect from the wind. 

Pit is about to remove the gag when he heads a whizzing sound. He falls to the ground and can't move. 

Ah, a weighted net. 

Now he's in deep shit. 

\--

Link is playing with Fiona in the garden when he sees something shoot from the sky. 

"And now all I need is poppy and corn!" Fiona declares triumphantly, arms full of produce. "Annie and Frank will be so happy… We can cook them a whole meal, Link-San!" 

Annie and Frank were Fiona's stuffed animals. She insisted on preparing and serving them real food, and Link had to find a way to secretly eat it all in order to convince Fiona that her stuffed animals were eating what she made them. 

It was a weird game, but it made Link a good cook. He learned to teach Fiona how to prepare what he liked, since he'd be eating it all anyway. 

Link searched the sky for any more signs of distress. So far, nothing. He focused back on Fiona and all the vegetables that were falling out of her arms. 

"Here, let me take that." 

"Oh, thank you so much!" Fiona's smile widened as she handed over the vegetables. She dropped a tomato in front of her and stepped on it as she handed over the wheat, bell peppers, and jalapeños. Link winced as tomato juice squirted everywhere. 

"Okay, I found some corn…" Fiona muttered as she knelt on the floor. Her sandals were covered in tomato juice and her dress was stained with dirt, and Link wondered if her parents would think he was a bad influence. 

"Link!"

He turns as Zelda runs to him, breathless. She has panic in her eyes. 

"Did you see the creature falling out of the sky?" 

Link nods. He didn't think much of it. 

"Well, the villagers think it's an attacker. You need to go. Check it out." 

"But Link bhai is helping me." Fiona pouts as she comes up behind Link, corn and poppy in her hand. "He's going to help me make food for Annie and Frank." 

"Fiona…" Zelda smiles, "Link has to go do big boy stuff right now. But I can help you make food!" 

"You don't do it the same way Link bhai does." Fiona says darkly. Link smiles, thinking of the time Zelda lit the kitchen on fire preparing steamed vegetables. The princess was terrible at cooking. 

"Yes yes," Zelda waves impatiently, "but I'm more fun. And we can even do something else!" 

"Like what?"

Fiona has grabbed onto Link's arm, refusing to let go until Zelda gives a satisfactory answer. Zelda looks at Link, her eyes pleading. 

"Well, you two could… Explore a cave?" 

"I'll tell you what!" Zelda puts a hand to her fist triumphantly. "I can tell you a story." 

"Oooh, a story!!" and with that, Fiona lets go of Link's arm and runs to Zelda. 

"Really? A cave?" Zelda intones as Link hands her the vegetables. The latter smiles and shrugs. 

"Come back soon, Link bhai!" Fiona giggles, then she and Zelda disappear inside the house. 

\--

Pit can't move. 

The weighted net wouldn't be a problem normally. Pit is strong, stronger than he comes off as, and he just broke through cloth binds on his arms. That was not an easy feat. 

But this weighted net? It shocked him every time he moved. He tried to remove the gag but couldn't lift his arm without getting electrocuted. Tried to shift to a more comfortable side. Got electrocuted again. So now Pit was withering on the floor in the most uncomfortable position, and he could do nothing about it. 

"We have captured you once again, demon." The grizzled-beard man says. 

"Woah, woah there. I'm an angel, thank you very much. Hence the wings." 

"Demons have wings. They also encroach on other people's lands, and steal identity." 

"Look," Pit says, irritably now, "I have a baby face. My clothes are all white and gold. I carry a bow and a have an actual gold laurel wreath in my hair. I have rings-" 

"You carry a bow that splits into swords." The woman warrior interrupts. "Your wings do not lift you unless you kick off the ground. You look the part of an angel, but you could easily be fooling as one." 

Pit is lost for words. He is going to die, right here, right now. Because everyone in Hyrule thinks he is a devil. 

Luckily, Link decides to emerge into view at this particular moment. 

"Pit?" Link says, disbelief etched on his face. Pit is pretty sure his face looks just like that, because this is the first time he has heard Link talk. 

He recovers. "Um, yeah. Where have you been?" 

"You know this man?" one of the warriors asks, gesturing toward Pit. 

"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!" Pit screeches. 

No one looks at him. 

Link nods. The warriors all nod, respectfully, in return, and take a couple steps back to form a ring around Pit and Link. 

Link approaches Pit and flings off the weighted net. Pit stays on the ground, eyebrow raised. 

"Well, that's one hell of a warm welcome." 

"Sorry." Link looks embarrassed. "We did not know you were coming." 

"Yeah, well, I guess it's my fault I don't usually stop by to say hi."

Link stares at Pit as he stands up. Pit stops, stares, expects Link to speak, but all Link does is arrest Pit with his quizzical gaze.

“What? Do I have something on my face?”

Link shakes his head. A warrior steps forward from the circle. 

“What are you doing in Hyrule?”

“Oh, I’m just dropping by.” Pit says airily, waving his hand.

A quick look around reveals that no one understood his joke. Okay. “I’m here because Skyworld is in trouble. I can’t find- I can’t sense Palutena. I need your help finding her. And I can’t fly far, either, without her teleporting me.”

“Hyrule is not very close to Skyworld.” The grizzled-bearded warrior comments. “How did you reach us?”

“Well, it’s closer than Earth.” Pit comments. Then he pauses.

“Actually… I don’t. Really know how I got here.”

“Well… interesting.” The female warrior crosses her arms, her stance becoming more aggressive.

“Look,” Pit says hastily, “I know him.” He points at Link. “We fought together. I’m a good guy.”

Link looks at all the warriors, then at Pit. “I will help.”

Pit sighs a breath of relief, then follows Link to the castle.


End file.
